Sunday, September 25, 2011

Weeping May Endure for a Night, But Joy Comes in the Morning

Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning. -Psalm 30:5

Everyone goes through a time--or times--in their life when they feel like nothing is going right, and that it may never get better again. We all feel alone sometimes, as if no one could possibly know what it is that we're going through. And we ask ourselves, "How will I ever be able to move on?"
But the truth is, life does go on, and so do we. No matter how hard the struggle, no matter how high the mountain, no matter how deep the waters of dispair, we always manage to get through it.
Why? Because God will provide. Because the Lord carries us when we're weak; He leads us along the path of goodness when we can no longer see the road; He lifts us up when the water is too deep to trudge.
When I was 19 years old, I got a phone call saying that my grandmother wasn't doing well, and that I should go see her as soon as I could. I had heard this many times before, so I didn't panic, but as my mother and I drove the 45 minutes to see my grandmother, I said, "I don't know what I'm going to do. I'm going to have a nervous breakdown when she dies."
When I walked into my grandmother's room and reality hit me, I fell a part. I knew that the Lord was going to call her home in just a few days. I didn't know how I was going to go on.
Up until that point, I had never lost anyone that close to me. But my grandmother and I had shared so many memories together, and I wasn't ready to let her go. But that would be selfish. My grandmother was suffering, and she had suffered for the past few years. So I went into her room and kneeled beside her bed and did the hardest thing I have ever had to do: I said goodbye.
I told her it was okay to go home, because I knew that she was tired. I asked her to watch over me once she was in Heaven. I apologized for times I had dissapointed her and for times that I wasn't there for her. I told her I loved her, I kissed her and told her for the last time that it was okay to go home.
My grandmother passed away two days later and I was a complete mess. My mom came to my apartment and sat with me until I fell asleep, reassuring me that everything was going to be okay. I didn't believe her. How would everything be okay? My grandmother was no longer a car ride away. There were so many things I had or hadn't done and now it was too late.
But the hands on the clock continued to tick by. I cried every day for a few months. I'd open up the refrigerator door and fall to pieces, remembering my grandmother as an amazing baker, whose home was always full of goodies. Why hadn't I asked her to share her recipes with me while she still could?
Thanksgiving came and I ruined the pumpkin roll. I called my mom, barely able to speak between tears. "It's just not the same as hers," I cried.
Christmas came and went, as did my college graduation. I was the first one in her family to attend and graduate college, and it hurt that she couldn't be there with me.
But then I stopped and thought, "She is here with me. She's always with me."
As time marched on, I cried less often and I began to remember my grandmother with a smile rather than tears. I still miss her and I wish my son could have met her, but I know she was with him when God sent him to grow in my belly.
I know she's watching over my family and I, that she's no longer in any type of worldly pain, and that one day, I will be with her again. And there she'll be, waiting for me with her delicious pumpkin roll and rice pudding.
So when times are tough and it seems as though life is falling a part, just remember that "This too shall pass." Although things very well may get worse before they get better, they will get better. Because "Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning."


Kim G. said...

Good job, Sarah

Beth F. said...

Very nice

Joy M. said...

Sarah... You are a great writer and that def brung tears to my eyes! ...that is exactly what I need to keep me motivated! Thank you so much for sharing that with me!