Sugar in Boots and Poop on Floors

I finally have my computer hooked up! But... I can't find my mouse... I think I prefer hooking my keyboard into my cell phone if I don't have a mouse for the computer. What a pain! #firstworldproblems
First, a NC update: Tomorrow my aunt and uncle are coming to visit, along with their son and his new fiancee. I can't wait! This is our third visit from family and friends since our move, which makes being so far away from all of them a little bit easier. I don't miss them any less, but when I do get to see someone from home, the distance between us makes the visit so much better than it used to be when we would see each other on a regular basis. I believe I've said it before, but I'll say it again: Absence truly does make the heart grow fonder. And being away from your loved ones makes you appreciate them so much more.
So today I want to ask all of you a question, even though--let's be honest--not a single one of you are going to comment in the section below (it's okay--sort of--I still appreciate your readership). So my question is this: What are some of the most memorable crazy/silly/unbelievable things your children (or nieces, nephews, grandchildren, etc.) have said or done?
Just yesterday, Noah, who's two and a half (30 months if you prefer that kind of thing), dumped Stevia into my husband's work boots. Kevin didn't think it was very funny, until I realized Noah also sweetened my rain boots, as well. Then it was all-around hilarious.
At bedtime, Noah came into my room as I was reading a book (Gone Girl, which I highly recommend!) and said, "Mama, my diaper off me" (we're still in the potty-training process). I asked him why and he responded, "I pooped in my bed." Why? "Cuz."
Thankfully when I went into his room I found easy-to-clean-up "turds," if you will, on the floor and not in his bed. We then had the "you need to go poop on the potty, not on the floor" talk before I got him a new diaper and put him back in bed.
Noah has colored on the walls (which I can honestly and thankfully say Sebastian had never done), unraveled entire toilet paper rolls, colored on cabinets with permanent marker, rubbed Desitin all over his lips and eyes, and then some.
When Sebastian was about two years old, he decided to do something "nice" for mommy. We were playing together outside one warm, sunny day and I realized my phone wasn't on the table where I left it. "Sebastian, where's mommy's phone?" His reply? "I washed it for you, mama!" And there it was. Inside his watering can. Which was also full of water. "Why, thank you, hunny."
Another time he walked outside onto our deck and peed right off the side. "I'm watering your flowers, mama."
When he was a bit older, he "drew mama a picture." On the side of my Jeep. With a rock.
Another time he was playing and called one of his toys a douche. I gave him "the look" and his eyes got wide and he quickly stammered, "No, mama! It means bag!" Of course I had to turn away and stifle my laughter, and explain that it did not mean bag. And then try to mind the words that came out of my trucker mouth (sorry to disappoint, but I do curse!) a bit better.
The other day he actually told me to "Talk to the hand!" I was in shock. How does my seven-year-old son even know that phrase?! I guess some things just carry on from one generation to the next, unfortunately. As long as he doesn't start saying "As if" or "Like, totally!" I think I may be okay. I hope.
The things my children say and do are not always appropriate and sometimes it's hard to contain my laughter. I do explain to them that they need to make better choices, watch their mouths, never do that again, etc. But depending on the issue, I usually end up walking into another room and smiling, thinking to myself, "You're gonna miss this."
So feel free to share your memories! I'd love to read them and share a smile or a laugh! Comment below or share your stories in the comments on my Facebook page, www.facebook.com/sarahstreetblog.